We may all have felt lonely at some point in our lives, but chronic loneliness is something else entirely. It is a state of feeling completely alone and unloved, with no friends or social contact.
Social isolation kills the spirit
We know from COVID what separation and isolation do to the human spirit–it destroys it little by little. This is particularly true for older or vulnerable individuals who, for various reasons, become socially isolated and feel the pain of loneliness.
The fact is that as we age, things change. We may find getting around more difficult, experience memory problems, loss of hearing etc.
And for some, becoming dependent on others is burdensome, so we are tempted to soldier on in silence.
Losing a spouse, too, can trigger a deep sense of loneliness, particularly if the marriage or partnership is lengthy. It is hard to feel our life still has purpose and meaning when we experience loss and grief.
Signs and symptoms of loneliness
Loneliness often connects to depression, with depression showing itself in different ways. Not everyone will exhibit the same kinds of behaviours and indeed, some people are adept at hiding their inner misery.
However, some signs to look out for are: feeling hopeless, losing interest in activities, or feeling persistently sad.
Why isolation creates anxiety and depression
When we become isolated, our feelings of anxiety may worsen and contribute to conditions like social anxiety disorder.
A further problem develops when we don’t want to go out because of feeling anxious. This compounds the sense of loneliness, and so a vicious cycle develops, preventing us from stepping outside our front doors.
Loneliness affects the mind
Lack of social interaction and mental stimulus is not good for our minds either. Cognitive decline is more likely in individuals who experience chronic loneliness, increasing the risk of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.
The saying ‘use it or lose it’ is true in this sense, which is why our brains need to focus on something that stimulates us and lightens the spirit.
Being able to chat with others is one way to do this, either over the telephone or face-to-face.
Depression affects our sleep
Poor sleep and disturbed sleep patterns are common with loneliness and depression. It’s a vicious cycle because as we become more sleep-deprived, our body’s natural emotional balance gets disrupted.
It’s then easy for us to slip into patterns of insomnia and other sleep disorders, all of which negatively affect our health.
Isolation and poor immunity
Being isolated for a long time and feeling depressed is another contributory factor to a weakened immune system, leaving us open to picking up infections and other illnesses. Older people simply do not have the physical reserves that younger, fitter individuals possess to fight off every bug that comes their way.
Loneliness and eating
When people are bored and lonely, the temptation to either stop eating or eat excessively is not uncommon either. Food either becomes uninteresting or a means to derive some form of comfort.
Comfort eating or bingeing on sweets and confectionary may offer short-term emotional relief but it brings its own problems, namely obesity and often, dietary-related diabetes.
These habits are easier to break when we have something more uplifting to focus on and things to look forward to.
Shorter lifespan
It’s worth noting too that reduced life expectancy is the long-term result of ongoing stress and feeling cut off from others. We joke about ‘losing the will to live’ when we feel frustrated with something, but for the chronically depressed, this may be true.
So, what do we know?
Research has indicated a correlation between ongoing loneliness and social isolation and an increased likelihood of premature death.
We know far more now about the negative effects of loneliness than we did twenty years ago. That said, prevention is always better than cure. The enforced social isolation during the pandemic brought to light the pain we humans feel when we are not able to see and engage with others.
If nothing else, we need more than ever to be aware of these issues in our loved ones, friends, and neighbours and, if possible, support them to reach out and connect with their community.
This is sometimes easier said than done, but if we’re on the lookout for any of the above conditions, we’ll quickly spot if our loved one or friend is struggling. We’re then in a good position to chat through their options and be a supportive voice to help them re-connect with others again.
Knowing we have choice and control over our life is liberating and sometimes it takes someone else to help us see that and be the encouraging voice.
And that can only be a good thing.
